


Roses

by BeeboIsHigh



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes Gets a Hug, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky likes Roses, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Flowers, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Recovered Memories, Roses, steve is a sweetheart, takes place somewhere after winter soldier, this is my first fic in 2 years please be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeboIsHigh/pseuds/BeeboIsHigh
Summary: In the years before the war, Steve always got Bucky roses for his birthday. No matter what happened, Bucky knew that against his will, the little punk would bring him his favorite flowers and put a smile on his face.The the war happens, Hydra gets Bucky, and Steve gets Bucky back. Memories return, but none involve the romantic aspect of their bond, and Steve is feeling helpless. So much time has passed that even Steve doesn't know what will bring back a memory. A morning conversation with a certain Black Widow jogs Steve's memory enough to realize there is one last thing that could bring his Bucky back to him.





	Roses

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Marvel fic, and first fic in general in two whole years. I do this for fun, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, and I hope you enjoy this. Please give me feedback! Thank you for reading!

_"Happy birthday, Buck! I couldn't afford much this year, but your ma said you love roses, and I saw you looking at some in the florist's window last week, so I got you these!" Steve said as he handed Bucky six ruby red roses wrapped together in paper by a delicate blue ribbon._

_"Oh Stevie, they're beautiful, but how many times have I told you that I don't want anything this year? You need to_ _keep whatever your ma can bring home," Bucky scolded, looking at the beautiful roses in his hand. He loved them, he really did, but he knew that Steve and Sarah were not making enough to freely spend on gifts. "I can't take these, Stevie, your medicine isn't cheap, and you can't exactly work with all your health issues. Ya don't need anymore strife," Bucky continued, looking at Steve, who was staring straight back at him, daring him to continue. Bucky knew just by looking into those eyes that Steve wouldn't take no for an answer, he'd always been a stubborn little thing. Bucky sighed, and grabbed Steve by the shoulder, dragging him into his side for an awkward hug. "You're a real punk, aren't ya?" Bucky sighed out before letting Steve go._

_"You're the only jerk I know who would scold someone for getting ya flowers," Steve countered, giving Bucky a playful smack on his arm._

_~~~_

And this pattern would continue every year. Steve would spend his last bits of money just to ensure that Bucky got roses on his birthday. Bucky would always scold him, but whenever Steve wasn't looking, Bucky would smile fondly at them and think of how stubbornly sweet his best friend was. He knew it wasn't normal for two young men to exchange flowers, and he knew that Steve definitely liked him more than he led on, but Bucky never cared for tradition and normality anyway.

The years passed, and more flowers were given. Unbeknownst to Steve, Bucky always dried every rose given to him, and kept them hidden away in a cupboard. He would look at them on his worst days, and he kept them organized by year, the very first six away from the rest in their own special area. The year Steve's mother passed, Bucky returned the favor and brought him one of the dried roses, the year it was from written on a small paper tag attached with white thread. He handed it to Steve, and no words were exchanged, as they both knew what it meant: that Bucky was trying to make Steve happy with one of his favorite things. Steve gently took the rose from Bucky's hand and kissed him on the cheek, thankful to be in the peace of Bucky's small apartment. 

From this moment on, their bond grew stronger, if that was even possible. Steve moved in and did any housework while Bucky worked at the docks. They went out together with their "dates" (who were really lesbians wanting to be able to spend time with their own girlfriends) on weekends. They danced in their living room, kissed in their apartment, and most importantly, gave each other roses on their birthdays. The flowers were always dried and preserved, kept to be looked at later. They still had their troubles and low finances, but the roses would always be a stability in their lives, holding everything together.

Of course, this all changed once the war started, and Steve and Bucky were separated against their wills. Steve barely had time to deal with Bucky's death before he was frozen, and the events afterward managed to keep his mind occupied. But nothing could stop the faint burst of pain he felt in his heart when he would see red roses anywhere. They had become one with his memories of Bucky, and while they faded as the time passed, they never fully left.

~~~

Steve found Bucky again. It wasn't something he allowed himself to ever hope for, and it was the worst possible way it could have happened. But he knew that while everybody around him believed that he didn't find Bucky, that he found a killing machine instead, the real Bucky was in there somewhere. He had managed to trip his memory, he knows he did, he caught the look in the soldier's eye that belonged to Bucky and only Bucky. And when he woke up on the shore, there was Bucky, sitting next to him, staring in confusion.

Steve took him in, kept everybody away from him. Bucky was in there, and Steve was determined to find him, to get the one thing he had from his past back. It was not an easy feat, and Bucky was extremely volatile at first. Tony had reluctantly agreed to help Steve deprogram him as best he could, but there was only so much that could be done before it came down to Bucky himself. 

Things were changing. They were changing slowly, but it was undeniable that Bucky Barnes was coming back to them. Small memories started trickling in over time; Bucky pulling Steve from a fight, Steve drawing him on a lazy afternoon, the two of them lying on the floor in their underwear to cool down from the sweltering heat, etc. On top of that, Bucky was able to start interacting with people. They were all small interactions, but it was a big step for Bucky to say good morning to Nat or to let Tony fix up his metal arm each week. Bucky was getting there.

However, it wasn't all good. Bucky was prone to nightmares and flashbacks of his time as the Winter Soldier. He would wake up in tears, and be too scared to be around other people, fearing that he would hurt them. Bucky ended up on Steve's bedroom floor more nights than not, trying to be with the one person who he fully trusted to take care of him, to bring him out of his nightmare-fueled emotions. Steve eventually moved Bucky into his bed, and held him, letting him calm down at his own pace. It hurt Steve knowing that Bucky still hadn't remembered their relationship past being friends. He hated knowing that there was every possibility that Bucky could never remember what they had. But most of all he hated not being able to kiss Bucky good morning, to tell him that he loved him, and to dance with him in the evenings. He could always tell him, but it could make Bucky believe that he was manipulating him, and Bucky's trust could disappear in the blink of an eye, destroying whatever they had now. 

Steve would always try to jog Bucky's memory with items he found. He showed him one of the old sketchbooks he managed to recover, filled with drawings of him. That brought back a memory of Bucky being sick, and resenting Steve for drawing him while he looked so miserable. ("Aw c'mon Buck, you always tease me when I'm sick, I don't usually get the chance to return it!") One time he found Bucky's favorite blanket in the things he managed to recover from SHIELD, and that one brought back many memories of comfort and warmth in winter, but nothing about Steve. Steve felt hopeless, not knowing what to do. He wanted his Bucky back, but nothing would pull those memories out of their haze.

~~~

It had been six months since Bucky was recovered. Steve wanted to give Bucky something to congratulate him for the progress he had made, but he didn't know what Bucky would enjoy, since he was still lacking huge chunks of memories. He confided in Natasha about this one morning, and asked for her help. "Well, what do you remember getting him on other occasions back then? Like anniversaries and things like that?" Nat asked, looking at Steve fidgeting with his hands.

"I don't know, we were too poor to get each other things. Although, every year on his birthday, I would-" Steve cut himself off, pushing his cup of coffee aside and slamming his head into the table.

"Steve? Earth to Steve. Grandpa frisbee? You were saying?" 

"I'm such a dumbass," Steve said, words muffled by the table.

"I know that honey, but what were you saying?" Natasha asked, wondering what stupid thing Steve had managed to overlook. 

"Roses. Every single year I got him roses. It's been so long that I almost forgot," Steve said, head still attached to the kitchen table.

"Steve, you can be the literal definition of dumb blonde sometimes, but this is on another level. Go get him roses and get out of my sight before I hit you for putting your head in my lap and crying about how he won't remember you every damn night for six months," Nat sighed. Steve got up, kissed her on the cheek as an apology, and ran out to get Bucky roses. Natasha sat at the table alone and sighed, wondering why she was friends with an almost 100 year old idiot. 

~~~

"Bucky? I got you something," Steve said as he walked into his own bedroom, Bucky still lying in his bed wrapped in a blanket cocoon. A soft "mrph?" came from the blanket blob, and a sleepy Bucky poked his head out to see what was going on. 

Steve tried not to laugh at how cute the image was as we walked to the bed, roses behind his back. "It's been six months since we started to get you back, Buck. I thought these would help you out." Steve handed the roses to Bucky, who was now sat up, yet still covered in blankets. Bucky froze the second he laid eyes on the bouquet of scarlet roses. Steve held his breath. He had learned that expression in the last six months, and he knew what it was. Bucky was remembering.

~~~

_"Hey, I know you said that I_ _shouldn't do this again for the last five years, but..." Steve pulled out a single rose from the inside of his jacket. Bucky sighed and instead of scolding him like usual, took the rose and gently set it on the small couch in their living room before leaning down and kissing Steve gently on the lips._

_"Thanks, punk," Bucky whispered after they broke apart, smiling at Steve's shocked face. "What?" Bucky asked, knowing full well that Steve was prepared for a scolding, and completely unprepared for Bucky to kiss him._

_"Jerk," Steve said, before launching himself up at Bucky and kissing him again, knowing full well that Bucky had a shit-eating grin on his face for the stunt he pulled. Bucky didn't protest and only pulled Steve closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller figure, and thinking of how lucky he was to have Steve._

_~~~_

"Stevie?" Bucky asked softly, eyes beginning to water, the brief piece of that memory causing a chain reaction in his brain to parts of all the other rose memories, and even opening small doors to more memories that could be discovered again in time. Steve smiled and felt a weight fall off his shoulders. More of Bucky was returning, and he felt like he knew which part.

"I'm here," Steve said, slowly reaching up to cup Bucky's cheek in his hand. Bucky looked at him and nodded, setting down the roses and leaning into the touch. They sat in silence for a moment, waiting to see if the flood of new memories had stopped. 

Bucky broke the silence when he said, "You coulda told me, punk." There were tears now, and Bucky grabbed Steve and held him close. "How did I live without you?' He murmured, burying himself into Steve's neck.

Steve smiled and held tighter onto Bucky. "You know I couldn't have just said it." He still worried that Bucky would only remember their time together, and not the love they had. The love Steve still had. Would Bucky be able to return it? To ever feel it again?

"I liked you, but I remembered things about men being together and the laws and I thought it was wrong and I didn't want to lose you and-" Steve cut Bucky off with a gentle kiss. Bucky froze for a second before returning it and running a hand through Steve's hair.

"All that's done with now, Buck. We can be together now, it's okay. I love you, Bucky. More than anything. You've always been there for me and the least I can do is be here for you. You're my best friend. I'm with you to the end of the line."

Bucky smiled at that and picked up the roses again, looking at them with the same eyes that admired them all those years ago. He looked up at Steve with the same loving eyes and said, "I love you too, Stevie. To the end of the line." With that, no more was said as they broke apart for Bucky to set the flowers on the bedside table, before wrapping himself around Steve and pulling him down into bed, just to be close to him. There was a lot to talk about, but right now they were at the most peace they had felt since before the war, and they were going to take this moment and hold on to it as long as they could.

A week later, the roses were preserved, made to last for many years to come, just like Steve and Bucky were.


End file.
